What The Hell Just Happened?
by TrickstersImp
Summary: Beck Oliver loves Tori Vega... yeah, we've all heard that before. But what has Tori ever done to prove she loves him, or has he left it all to chance. A parody of the classic Bori one-shot, give it a go... you know you want to.


_**Okay, I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist poking a little fun at some of these Bori one-shots… No offense to any Bori-lovers out there, but I'm Bade all the way. Any Bori viewers, if you don't read past the kiss you can treat it as a Bori one-shot, but if you read the ending… good luck.**_

_**If you're going to review about me film bashing then... first of all don't, I worked hard in this to make this even and not make Tori come across as a total bitch. But if you really feel you have to, would you tell me where that happened and help me improve for the future.**_

_**Thx.**_

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><p>Why was it that my world didn't make any sense anymore… surely one girl couldn't do that. My life shouldn't have been messed up so much by the thought of Tori Vega.<p>

A week ago I was happy, my life was perfect, and most of all it actually made sense. But now, now I was totally confused. I had been with Jade for two years, but now everything seemed worse with Jade. It now seemed vicious and wrong and Jade was always angry.

I had begun to hate Jade now… from the moment she poured coffee down Tori's head. And somehow, I just don't think it's a great idea to hate you're girlfriend; it's not exactly clever in the slightest.

"Beck!" I heard a voice call from behind me. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear I suppose, because it was, guess who… the girlfriend I was beginning to hate with all my heart. Yeah, I really don't think that is very good at all.

I spun around and looked at my very angry girlfriend.

"I'm out of coffee…" I looked at her incredulously.

"Yeah?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders, "What am I supposed to do about that?" I asked her… I was used to Jade being demanding but, seriously?

"Give me yours." I raised one eyebrow and she headed over to me, grabbing the coffee I was holding and walking on.

"No you cannot have my coffee." I said to the empty space in front of me that Jade had just vacated.

"Thank you Beck." She said in her singsong Tori voice that sounded absolutely nothing like her and you know what, it made me sick. Especially as I could see Tori at her locker in front of Jade as Jade was swirling around her coffee, or rather, my coffee suggestively at her. I could just see that Tori was definitely not in the mood, so I swung my arm around Jade pulling her back.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, turning her to face me and hoping to distract her from Tori.

"Nothing" Jade smiled evilly and continued "Yet." She smirked and leaned against me before bringing her lips up to mine. This was another thing about Jade that just felt wrong now, she was an angry, bitter, unloving girl. So why was I kissing her. As I slowly pulled Jade off me I saw a tear drop down Tori's face… and she was staring, staring at me and Jade. At that moment I saw her slam her locker shut and dash for the exit of HA, tears falling thicker every second.

As she neared the exit I grabbed her shoulder and looked her in the eye.

"Tori…" I said, willing her to tell me what was wrong… because there was definitely something wrong at the moment.

"Beck…" her eyes drifted back over to Jade as she said my name "I can't do this, not right now." And she ran for the door again, I could hear the rain pounding down outside, the rain that Tori was running too and I knew it must be important for Tori to go out there in this storm. And it suddenly hit me… Tori Vega loved me too, you could see it in the way she looked at me, the way she smiled and I felt so happy, so very happy that if I died now I would die a very happy man.

I collapsed against the locker, thinking about this… and Jade stormed over to me.

"What did you say to Vega that gave you that look on your face?" She demanded and I smiled… about to do the one thing I had wanted to do for a long time, even if I didn't know it.

"I told her I loved her, and I have every day since I met her. I'm sorry Jade but I can't take it anymore… we're done." I told her and walked away to follow the girl I loved.

As soon as I got outside the school the rain hit, hard. Why did it have to rain today? I met I'm in LA, it almost never rains. The rain began to get in my eyes and I knew I should find Tori quickly and get back inside. I picked up my pace and began to run, following the route I thought Tori would take.

Eventually I could see her not too far in front of me.

"Tori!" I cried and she spun around to look at me. I sprinted down the rest of the road to her.

"Beck," She whispered as I got right next to her. And slowly without saying another word I did what I had been dying to do for as long as I could remember, I kissed her.

She stared up at me, the raindrops mixing with her tears and slowly I could hear footsteps behind me which I could only assume were Jade, but I had just kissed Victoria Vega, I sure as hell didn't care.

"Beck, what the hell do you think you are doing!" She screamed at me and took a step back… utterly confused. "You're dating Jade!"

"Well, I was…" I tried to defend myself. "But you like me… and I love you."

"What!" She screamed "Why would I ever like you? You're Jade's guy and you're arrogant, a player, you can be seriously idiotic and you treat Jade like crap most of the time." She walked back over to me and I could see the anger in her eyes.

"And you were only with Jade because you could have me? Is that it? Do you know how cruel that is Beck Oliver? You never even deserved Jade in the first place, you complete bastard!" I was seriously confused.

"But you were looking at Jade and me, and crying!" I protested again.

"I was on my way to my grand-mothers funeral! Of course I was f-ing crying, how stupid can you get?" Okay, I was getting yelled at by the girl I thought had loved me, I had just dumped the girl I had been dating for two years and I was soaking wet… it's official, I hate Mondays.

Tori checked her watch in front of me. "And now I've missed my bloody train, thank you very much Beck!" She screamed at me at the top of her voice.

"That's why you were running?" I said hesitantly… "It wasn't because you couldn't stand to see Jade and me together.

"Beck…" she said slowly, like I was a simpleton… "Have I ever flirted with you, I mean seriously, apart from the very first day or while we're acting." After thinking about it I realised she hadn't flirted with me, not seriously I mean. I shook my head.

"Have I ever done anything that could make you think I liked you?" I had to slowly shake my head.

"Then why the hell did you just kiss me!" I looked up and down, trying to find some way out of Tori's furious glare. On the bright side, it had stopped raining.

"That's what I want to know!" Oh shit, Jade… oops. I turned around to face my ex, who hit me in the face, hard.

"You are an utter bastard!" She screamed in my face…

"I know, I've been told…" I muttered and she gave me a massive glare before turning to Tori.

"Is it true?" Tori asked slowly, a smile lighting up her face… "You and Beck are over?" Jade nodded, a smile bigger than anything I had ever seen on Jade face currently taking centre stage.

"We most definitely are." And then Jade and Tori were in each other's arms, making out like there was no tomorrow. I stared at my crush and my ex-girlfriend trying to make sense of the situation. Jade and Tori broke off for a second and stared lovingly into each other's eyes, making me so jealous.

"I love you…" Jade whispered three words that she had never said to me

"I love you too" Tori's eyes lit up with joy.

"Um…" I said, and Jade turned around to stare at me.

"Get out now, before I hang you from your testicules and skin you like a piece of meat, you cheating idiot!"

"But…" I stuttered again… staring at the two girls in front of me that for ages I hadn't been able to decide between, who were about to start making out.

"GO!" Tori screamed and I turned around and began to run down the road back to Hollywood Arts, only having one thing on my mind.

What the hell just happened?

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><p><em><strong>Well, that was fun... it was the first parody I've written and I hope it was alright.<strong>_

_**Any normal reader of mine, check out the poll on my profile.**_

_**The Name Is A Lie, As Is The Cake**_

_**I-Am-Not-A-Smiley-Person**_


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